Ideas for Writing Your Wedding Vows

The perfect elopement is the one that speaks to the hearts of you and your partner. There is no one-size-fits-all approach—it’s your day to share, and it should be tailored to fit the vision you share.

Whether you opt for an adventurous trek to an unforgettable overlook with your fiancé or keep things a bit more traditional by having friends and family join you for the ceremony, crafting your ideal wedding is a profoundly personal process.

There may be no aspect of your elopement that demonstrates this more deeply than writing and sharing your vows. It’s where you bare your heart and soul, dive into vulnerability, and share your innermost feelings. It is a truly sacred act, whether you get a bit silly or overly sentimental.

It can also be overwhelming. Your partner is the most important person in your life, and expressing the depth of your emotions to them can be a daunting task. Communicating your thoughts and feelings in a meaningful way is a beautiful thing, but it comes with a fair share of pressure.

If you find yourself with writer’s block, fret not—I have some practical advice you can use to kickstart your vow-writing process and create something significant and lovely to share with your significant other.

Whether you’ve put your pen to paper and drawn a blank or gotten halfway through your vows and succumbed to the stress, you’ve come to the right place. No two processes are identical, so I’ve put together a few of my favorite tips and tricks for nurturing your creativity, your confidence, and your readiness to write some kick-ass vows!

Remember, You Can Revise

For many, writing vows is stressful because they want them to be perfect. I totally get that—there’s so much to say, and you want every word to carry the weight of your love—but expecting perfection can be paralyzing.

Remember, you don’t have to get it just right the first time. Instead of ramping up the pressure on your initial attempt, remind yourself that you can revise your vows as many times as you want to before the ceremony. Try to let go and simply get your thoughts on paper. They can be disjointed, messy, and practically illegible—you’ll have every opportunity to revisit them and refine them before the wedding!

Reflect on What Matters

Don’t get me wrong; your vows are incredibly important. They set the tone for your married life and act as a piece of history you share. The vows themselves, however, are only a fraction of your story. If you are searching for inspiration, there’s no better place than the moments you have shared with your partner.

Take time to immerse yourself in the memories, look at some photographs, and otherwise reflect on what matters—the love between the two of you. Whether it’s a moment that defines your relationship or something about your partner that makes your heart do somersaults, you’re bound to find inspiration for your vows hiding in plain sight.

Start with the Basics

Sometimes, having a bit of a template can help you organize your thoughts and start writing your vows. Keep in mind that even if you choose to use a template, you can customize it to your personality and revise whatever you produce when using the template.

A simple method to follow for writing your vows is to structure them using basic categories. Start with the introduction—your significant other’s name. This will help you focus, pull you into the moment, and set the tone for what follows. Nicknames are a fun way to break the ice and make things less formal if that’s your vibe.

Next, dive into what your partner means to you. This is your chance to wax poetic, reflect on your shared past, and express how you feel about them. From there, consider sharing your vision of the future, including your hopes and dreams. This is the perfect segue into the section of your vows where you make solemn promises to each other.

You are embarking on a life-long journey together. The promises you make in your vows are the foundation for that life. Remember, you don’t have to perfect your promises in your first draft—just get a few ideas on paper and revisit them later.

Write How You Talk

Instead of viewing your vows as a writing assignment, approach them as if you are speaking directly to your significant other. What would you say? How would you say it? What would you want to express?

Your vows are an extension of who you are, not necessarily a literary masterpiece. They are meant to be spoken, and it is that verbalization that creates a meaningful connection when you share them. Writing how you talk is a way to simplify the process and ensure you sound like you on your wedding day. Let your personality shine through, be funny, expressive, and don’t hold back!

Vow to Be Different

No matter what the dynamic between you and your loved one is, how you want to elope, or the unique way you approach your vows, your elopement day is your opportunity to do things your way. If you’re struggling with your vows, try to let go of the pressure and utilize the tools in this blog to get started.

For more tips on crafting vows you’re happy with and excited to share, feel free to reach out to me. I’ve helped couples perfect their vows before, and I’m happy to help you prepare for your special day!