Why Couples Choose to Elope

You’re getting married, and everyone is excited about “the wedding.” Your family members keep peppering you with questions about your plans. But, something doesn’t feel right. There’s something holding you back from giving definitive answers. You have this nagging feeling that you might just want to elope.

I’ve been there. That thing you’re feeling, take it seriously. This is YOUR wedding, and you should choose to celebrate in whatever way makes the most sense to YOU. At the end of the day, you shouldn’t be afraid of eloping, but you should be afraid of compromising on your wedding day. So if eloping sounds appealing, but you’re scared of what it could mean, let me give you some answers. Trust me, eloping isn’t as scary as it sounds. Here are seven reasons to elope.

1. Elopements provide you with intimacy.

Do any of these feelings speak to you?

• A wedding doesn’t appeal to you because you hate being the center of attention.
• You’ve never been comfortable with a room full of eyes on you.
• You simply don’t like sharing your personal life with your family.
• You want to focus on each other and not get distracted by hundreds of guests.

Well, I’m here to tell you that your feelings are valid! Your love, the feelings you share with your partner, doesn’t belong to anyone else. Quite simply, you’re allowed to desire privacy. Sharing your vows is an intimate experience, and you don’t have to invite anyone to witness that if you don’t want to. 

• Instead, you should follow your heart and see where those decisions take you.
• If the thought of a traditional wedding leaves you overwhelmed, you’ll experience freedom in the ease of doing things your own way.
• CHOOSE TO ELOPE!

Eloping keeps the focus on you and your love and not about family drama, seating charts, appeasing other people’s ideas, or the ever-growing list of things that makes planning a traditional wedding feel more like a chore than a celebration of love.

2. Eloping provides you with plenty of time together to celebrate your love.

Eloping gives you the freedom to spend as much time as you want with your partner rather than worrying about having to mingle with your cousin’s fiancé or the uncle you’ve met twice. The timeline of a traditional wedding provides the bride and groom with only a limited amount of time together. Unless you choose to do a first look, you’ll most likely only have time alone with your partner during the couple shoot. The rest of the day is spent in the presence or under the eyes of watchful guests.

3. Eloping reflects your style and personality.

Trying to realize your own vision while listening to a mountain of advice from all sides is hard and unfortunately, you’re not going to be able to make everyone happy. And unless you have a ton of spare cash to hire a wedding planner, dress designer, family manager, personal assistant, chef, etc. you’re going to get stressed out planning your wedding. I’m sure there are some of you who enjoy the task of creating seating charts, or love cake tastings but, I’ve never been to a wedding where the couple had not fielded at least a few complaints from someone. Aunt Jenna didn’t like the gluten-free cake, or cousin Tim thought the music choices were dated. After spending so much time planning, these complaints can really hurt. Don’t all these people realize how much time you put into making choices that you thought everyone would like?

Blunt Truth: It’s not your job to make other people happy on YOUR wedding day!

• Instead, bring the focus back to what’s important!
• Eloping isn’t always stress-free either, but it’s way more likely to be less stressful than a traditional wedding.
• Especially if you’ve hired a photographer to lead you through the tougher parts.

4. Eloping reduces money stress by encouraging intentional spending.

The simple fact is, spending any amount of money for two people to elope is going to cost less than a wedding where 200+ people need to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom (venue costs are often the most expensive part of a wedding). 

By choosing to elope, you’re taking charge of your budget.

• On average, traditional weddings have about 170 guests.
• A traditional wedding in the U.S. costs an average of $30,000,
• About $15,000 is simply facility costs, food, and entertainment for your guests.

Imagine halving the cost of your wedding simply because you’ve decided not to finance an evening of drinks and entertainment for your cousin’s fiance, or the uncle you’ve met twice.

• Instead, you can save that money as a down payment on a house, or take a long honeymoon.
• Or, you can rent a cabin or a boat or elope in Antarctica and say you’ve been to a continent less than .5% of all humanity has ever been to!
• The point is, it is your choice.

5. Elopement location ideas are endless!

When you elope you don’t have to limit your ceremony location to accommodate the needs of your guest. You can elope on a boho beach, a majestic mountaintop, a Tuscan vineyard, or under a waterfall in Iceland. Want to take a helicopter to the top of a mountain, do it! Want to get married while hiking in a canyon – sweet! This is your day, you do you, boo! Wherever you choose to elope, make sure this location has significant meaning to both of you.

6. Eloping is the best of both worlds

When you elope, you can have your cake and eat it too! You can have that intimate ceremony you’re hearts been crazy but also celebrate with loved ones. You can do this by planning two separate events: an elopement and a ceremony! 

The elopement day usually comes first. You, your partner, and the legal number of guests will experience a day of adventure in whatever place you want! Depending on the state, you need anywhere from zero to three attendees aside from the marrying couple to legally sign the documents. You can of course also invite siblings, friends, or immediate family. You really can do whatever you want! Then, eloping couples often throw a dinner reception for those they didn’t celebrate with during the ceremony.

Two events instead of one might initially sound like a lot more work, but it actually isn’t. Here are some benefits of having two separate events:

• An elopement only requires that you and your partner are available.
  • You don’t have to worry about accommodating the needs and schedules of dozens of other people.
  • This opens up your schedule to elope any day of the week.
  • Midweek elopements are more private because the trails are less busy.
• Then, when it comes time to have the reception, there is less pressure because you’re already married!
  • The reception time can be spent joining together with family and friends to celebrate a union.
  • No one will be gossiping about who sat on which side of the aisle.
  • Instead, you’ll hear whispers of “did you see the photos?! If I could go back, I’d totally elope too. I’m kind of jealous!”

7. Those who love you, want you to be happy

You’re worried about offending people if you don’t have a traditional wedding. In reality, the people who love you simply want you to be happy.

• Explain to them that a traditional wedding doesn’t feel like a fun experience.
• If they still have reservations, explain to them that there are other ways to celebrate together.
• Instead of bringing them to the ceremony:
  • Celebrate with them later.
  • Share the photos with them afterward.
  • Plan a time to talk about this new chapter in your life.

When you elope, you can be in charge of the narrative. You can tell people before you elope, and smooth over any issues prior. Or, you can tell no one and surprise them, which will minimize potential feelings of judgment prior to your day. Either way, be honest about your desires and your support system will come around to support you in this new elopement endeavor.

You see, eloping doesn’t have to be scary! Instead, it can be just the solution to your wedding desires. Eloping gives you the opportunity to do what you want, in your time, at your pace, and celebrate with family and friends whenever makes you happy.